I'm having dejavu. Travel with me in time for a moment wont you?. It’s 2019 and he is turning the big double digit number on 21st May 2019. He’s super excited and silly old me, I haven’t made plans. My head is racing and I’m stressed. “The last time I had a birthday party for him he was turning 3 years” … I think to myself and its thoughts like these that make things worse. I figure, listen I already do so much for this dude, I mean surely he will forgive me right? WRONG !
Listen he guessed this and that and just never stopped. And then one evening at home he looks at me and hugs me “mommy we honestly don’t have to do anything for my birthday, it’s really okay.” OMG if the chat between me and my sis didn’t land me in this final plan, I would’ve died a slow painful death knowing I’m the worst mom ever.
This was two days before his birthday… I KNOW Right! I’m bad aren’t I? honestly, sometimes procrastination brings me the most amazing creative ideas simply from the pressure.
I reflect on this today 9 May 2021 for two reasons… firstly I’m so thankful to celebrate mother’s day today, I mean I thought Cancer was a death sentence when I was diagnosed in 2020, so I appreciate every little moment of this second shot at life spent with family and certainly this little champ. Secondly… yup you’ve guessed it, it’s the 9th of May and his birthday is on the 21st… ONCE AGAIN I am struggling with thoughts of what to do for him and he keeps dropping hints in-case I forgot his birthdate… HELPPPPPPPP.